What is nesting and is it right for our family?

| May 10, 2021 | Divorce

If you have recently gone through a divorce with children, it is likely that you and your ex-spouse will hold your children in joint custody. Figuring out the new rhythm of life after a divorce is difficult, even if you and your ex-spouse are on reasonably good terms.

One of the most difficult issues is finalizing the new living arrangement for the family. Some parents are experimenting with a living arrangement that Psychology Today calls “nesting.” Nesting involves the parents moving in and out of a family home to take care of the children, much like adult birds take care of babies located in a nest.

What should we know before nesting?

In order for nesting to be successful, keep in mind that it involves you and your ex-spouse continuing to maintain a family home. This means that if you have gone through a high-conflict divorce, it is unlikely that nesting is a realistic option for you.

Nesting can last as long or as short as it needs to last. It is likely that you and your ex-spouse will want to set up completely separate living situations at some point. You may use nesting as a temporary bridge between pre- and post-divorce life. It is also possible for nesting arrangements to last for years if it suits everybody.

What are the benefits?

One of the biggest benefits to nesting is that, particularly if you choose to nest in the old family home, your children will benefit from very high levels of stability. They will not need to move at all nor change school systems. Nesting can also greatly reduce the level of conflict post-divorce, particularly if you have older children.